For a Newly Pregnant Mamma

Recently, a lovely friend of mine shared the happy news of her pregnancy with me. This post is inspired by her news, with all good wishes and much love to all the newly pregnant Mamme near and far.

Dear Mamma Bella,

You are pregnant! Evviva! Welcome to the Wild Ride Preceding the Wild Ride That Is Having a Baby.

Before I do anything else, let me introduce you to the Very Special Ina May Gaskin. 

I pinched this photo of Ina May in the late 1970's from this article on the Guardian, the photo is by Ina May.

Ina May is a midwife who practices in Summertown, Tennessee, in a unique midwifery center. In 1971, she and about 420 other young people bought 1,064 acres of land and started an intentional community called The Farm. Wikipedia has a pretty good article on it here, but generally speaking the members of the Farm Community believed in working hard, sharing, and staying off drugs (weed being an exception. On the topic of weed, a bit randomly, I am currently in Colorado, where weed has become legal, and have come across this book for children: "It's Just a Plant." Interesting how things are changing in the U.S. - what will our children's view of what is legal and illegal be? Just the thought leaves me feeling like I know so little!) 

Anyway, back to Ina May. If I were living in the U.S. and wasn't happy with the birthing options available to me, I would definitely consider traveling to Summertown to give birth at the wonderful Midwifery Center at the Farm (I know other pregnant mothers who have gone this route and have greatly enjoyed the experience.) Why go through the trouble?, you wonder... Well, for one thing, check out the statistics of the births at the center and, if you are feeling gutsy, compare them to those of your nearest hospital. To give you an idea, emergency Cesarean rates in the U.S. are around 30% of births. Between 1970 and 2010, the Farm's Midwifery Center has had a emergency C-section rate of 1.7%. Yes, you read that correctly, 1.7%. It's not magic, just a group of women who have dedicated themselves to creating a birthing culture that takes both mother and baby into consideration.

That said, traveling to Tennessee just to give birth might not be your cup of tea. So how do you access Ina May and the Farm's Midwives from afar? Here are a few options:

Videos: 
(I will just mention a few, but there are so many on youtube, take your time to browse around a bit.)

3 "home made" videos that I love and have linked to before, starting here.

A talk given in Stockholm by Ina May, divided by topics (great for browsing!) By the way, in this talk Ina May mentions the birth of a chimpanzee at a zoo. Here is the link to the video of that birth. While an inverted position - bum in the air - might not be your ideal while helping your baby out, I love watching how in touch this primate Mamma is with her body. And how she literally touches her baby to sense what is going on. I found it very helpful in birthing Ruben. I also love that the Papa' chimpanzee is present and participating.)

"Birth Story" - watch the trailer, or you can purchase the full movie.

"Spiritual Midwifery" - this is an incredible DVD of several births that have taken place at the Farm (including a mother who gave birth to 7+lb twins without tearing!) The DVD is available directly through the Midwifery Center here. If you know a doula, she might have access to one as well.

Books: 
(You can find all of these online, and lots of used copies for very little! If you live in an English speaking country, chances are you can borrow a copy from you local library.)

"Spiritual Midwifery" - I loved immersing myself in the moving stories of the women who have given birth at the Farm over the past 40+ years. No matter whether a birth was challenging or simple, I remember reading these stories and feeling human warmth radiating from the book in my hands. The birth stories take up half of the book, and the second half discusses the approach to birth of the Farm Midwives, as well as some technical aspects of pregnancy, birth, and care of a newborn.

"Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" -Similarly to the book above, lots of great birth stories and a lot of practical advice on birth itself.

"Birth Matters: a Midwife's Manifesta' " - A great piece of political writing, filled with information about birth history, the current state of births in the U.S. and the West, and the importance of birthing and becoming a mother in the context of women's rights. A really empowering read, although not quite as practical if you are close to giving birth.

All that said, Ina May may or may not be your thing. So here are two more books that I found precious for my pregnancy.

In "Birthing From Within", Pam England and Rob Horowitz guide you as a reader to explore your feelings, expectations, fears and hopes around birth. I often wished I could attend an actual workshop ran by Pam and Rob together with D, my partner. Here is their website with more information. This book allowed me to feel free to get creative, make drawings (however simple and not "beautiful"), and go about exploring how I felt without needing to edit or judge myself, no mean feat :-)

The second book I enjoyed is "Pregnant Feelings" by Rahima Baldwin. I love that this book contains several BEAUTIFUL images of pregnancy within it (do not undervalue the power of images! I can still remember a picture in "Spiritual Midwifery" of a woman with a beatific smile on her face as he baby is crowning - really inspiring.) This is a well designed workbook that leads you through different exercises to explore your experience of pregnancy. Again, a non-judgemental approach that allows for your subjective voice and experience to be validated and articulated. So good. Not to mention, I love the vintage feel to it!

There is a lot more for you to discover out there, and as usual: only pursue material that feels right. I mean it. If you find yourself scoffing at what you are reading or feeling uneasy with a video, let it go. Find ways to become informed that resonate with who you are and make you feel good. As I mentioned before, I also found online resources that I trusted and could refer to for more information. As much as possible, seek out evidence based resources and professionals who know their stuff (versus well meaning "experts" who might just share their own experience while passing it as wisdom.) 

Finally, most importantly, begin to explore your community and see if you can find people to connect to that seem aligned with your views. For me, that meant looking for breastfeeding mothers who wanted to wear their children (in slings) and try a baby led parenting style. This translated into showing up at La Leche League meetings (it's a great, INTERNATIONAL organization, so there is likely a group that meets up not too far from you) and connecting to the Oxford Sling Meet. It also meant showing up at a baby led potty training meeting while my baby was still on a wonderfully efficient system inside my belly and diaper changing was merely a concept. 

As my mentor Doula Maddie McMahon put it recently: "Find. Your. Tribe."  (This was in reference to this article on the Huffington Post.) Your tribe might be a single woman who lives in your same area, or a group of mothers who meet monthly. Depending on where you live, you might find a doula that you truly connect to, a midwife that you want to keep close to you for the journey ahead, a good friend or a family member. Move slowly, and give yourself time to connect with people around you as the Little Person inside you begins to take up more room in the world. Your community will become invaluable once the Little One arrives, whether for sharing stories, laughter, tears, or just a moment of craziness.

All right dear New Mamma. This is already more than you can probably manage all at once :-) Sending you and all other Pregnant Mothers out there my Love and Respect - it's a wild ride!

With good wishes from Colorado, until the next time, be well.

Documentary: "The Business of Being Born"

In 2009, I came across a documentary that kind of blew my mind. It's called "The Business of Being Born" (BoBB) and not only can you see the trailer here, but you can actually watch the whole movie for free here! In short, it's a documentary about birth in the USA, both in and out of hospitals. If you haven't seen it, check it out. Although the documentary focuses on the US, a lot of the issues explored ring true internationally (as always, the best thing to do is to check out numbers and statistics for your own country, which is not so hard with a search engine.)

When I first saw BoBB, there were several interesting points that came up, but probably what made the strongest impression on me was that today's common, Western expectations surrounding birth are (surprise surprise!) shaped by cultural and social assumptions rooted in history, a history that I knew nothing about. For instance, how did we end up thinking that lying on our backs with our legs spread apart is a good birth position? What did women do before birthing in a hospital became standard practice? How did we get to epidurals? BoBB looks closely at how, beginning in the 20th century, birth moved from the private space of homes to the private sector of hospitals. In addition, this documentary turns a spotlight on how hospital procedures around birth are not centered around mothers but around a business that has much to do with income, prestige, predictability and speed. It can be a tough film to watch, but one I highly recommend, especially before you are even pregnant (I firmly believe that most of your birthing learning should happen before you are pregnant, so that you are not trying to do a crash course in everything you need to know while struggling to stay awake/stay seated for more than 5 minutes/hold your pee/think of something other than what you will have for breakfast, lunch and dinner.)

It was BoBB that woke me up to the importance of making informed decisions when in came to birth. This, and a general distrust of hospitals due to the high rates of infections, missed diagnoses, and interventions on several of the women whom I have known to give birth in hospitals in the past years. (As a thought experiment, just for yourself, it might be interesting to think about how many women you know who have given birth without any form of intervention - this includes pain killers, induction, emergency Cesarean, episiotomy, blood transfusions, forceps or ventouse delivery. I can only think of 2 out of about 30 women.)

Now, before going any further, I would like to say that hospitals are great for emergencies. Even BoBB makes that clear. And not only that, but if upon entering a hospital you feel yourself relax and soften with the trust you have in that institution, than a hospital might be a great place for you to give birth in. Yet whether you like hospitals or not, the idea of learning about what a hospital is designed to do is crucial, and BoBB addresses some of the more important issues in this regard, like the standard hospital procedures around birth and some of the ways things could be different if approached from another perspective.

Among the people who speak in the documentary is the lovely Marsden Wagner MD. If you don't have time to watch BoBB, you might like to check out this interview with him. (My favorite question/answer starts at 2.25, with the difference between being a scientist and a surgeon.)

And of course, there is my favorite: Ina May Gaskin. (Imagine a few emoticons with hearts for eyes and a big, goofy smile.) This is the second time I mention her, and eventually I will write a more complete post on her and the midwives at the Farm, but for the time being know that she is in the documentary and worth getting to know. When I came across Ina May in BoBB, all there was on Youtube was this series of videos, which quickly cover some gems like why it can be nice to kiss while in labour and the wonderful sphincter law. I still love them, but nowadays there is much more available online! If you don't do some research yourself, I will give you more links to her talks the next time around.

Ruben is up and I need to turn the roast that D has put in the oven. 
Good bye for now and thank you for reading.